Thoughts on turning 19

Birthdays have a way of making you take a closer look into your life. On the surface, we are usually excited by all the material and superficial things that come with birthdays; the party, the gifts, the cake. However, when we take a step back, they can really bring about introspect and get us to think about all areas of our life. While I don't know how true it is, I believe this is the moment when we grow. When we begin to look at our life with fresh eyes and a new perspective. The moment when we are so honest and free with ourselves and allow ourselves to look inward and reassess our values, our goals, and our truths. When we think about what matters only to us, because we know in the end, we're the only ones who will live through the choices we made.

The actual day of my birthday was very laid back. I was home alone, watched one of my favorite movies, and ate vegan hot dogs. However, the whole idea of turning 19 had me thinking about the past, the present but mostly about the future. It had me wondering whether I had done enough with my life and whether I was on the right track to achieving my dreams. Moreover, I was wondering whether I was focusing on the right thing. Did I need to refocus my attention? Had I somehow forgotten what was important to me? Had I forgotten what my dreams were? Had I lost my purpose? Or was all of this an essential part of my journey? While some of the questions that went through my mind weighed on my heart, others were a lot more light-hearted.

1. "Yaaaaay! One year closer to 21!"

2. "Wait, I've been on this earth for almost two decades."

3. "Oh my goodness. That's almost twenty years of fooling around."

4. "Well, now I feel old."

5. "Can I do anything now that I couldn't do when I was 18?"

6. "No? Well damn. This is basically a placeholder birthday."

7. "I'm going to be older than the other freshmen in college."

8. "Why did I take a gap year?"

9. " Wait, this is my last year as a teen."

10. "Oh boy. Next year I have to tell everyone I'm 20."

11. "At least I completed my first year of adulting."

12. "Well, I wouldn't say completed, considering I still have to google how to register to vote."

13. " Oh man. have to adult again this year."

14. " Is my mom gonna make me call to make my appointments?"

15. " I'm not ready for adulting."

16. "Wow, this birthday is so uneventful."

17. "To post a birthday picture or not?"

18. "I should probably turn off my notifications until my birthday is over."

19. " Oh goodness. What am I going to think when I'm 20?"